Kasia Kokowska, Glasgow Changing Futures Communications Specialist at the University of Glasgow, explores commsplaining and shares her tips on turning commsplainers’ enthusiasm to your advantage.
I was scrolling through LinkedIn when a post stopped me in my tracks: ‘Have you ever been commsplained?’ It was a moment of instant recognition. ‘Commsplaining’ is real; subtle, but more common in workplace dynamics than you might think.
We explain to everyone, all the time
Again and again, non-comms colleagues try to explain communications to me, while being wrong. Or sometimes, very wrong. However, unlike the infamous notion of ‘mansplaining’ derived from the influential essay by Rebecca Solnit, they’re not necessarily condescending.
We probably all do it at times and feel embarrassed to discover we are talking to an expert. It’s the opposite of impostor syndrome: a cognitive bias that makes us believe we know more than we do, and since we don’t know what we don’t know – we are blissfully ignorant!
Lift us up, don’t bring us down
The problem with preaching to experts is how it makes them feel. I can get irritated when someone ‘commsplains’ to me, and I‘m sure many peers in comms role feel similar. It’s not obvious how to tactfully explain to the ‘commsplainer’ that what they are sharing is not news to me. Most people who approach me in a professional context know that I work in comms. Still, they ignore the fact that I must have knowledge resulting from education, qualifications, and experience.
Being repeatedly told what we already know may make us doubt ourselves or even underestimate our own expertise. Especially, if the ‘commsplainer’ appears to be in a position of power. In this case, it is no different to ‘mansplaining,’ or being patronising. Which is not helpful when we want to feel empowered to become even better at what we do.
Patience is everything
I shared with my academic colleagues that I’m sometimes being lectured about comms by non-comms colleagues and they pointed out: “We are lecturers! We may sound like we are lecturing, but we don’t mean to.” It gave me something to consider. Most people don’t mean to be mean; they might just be wearing their ‘lecturer’s hat.’
The author of the meme that inspired my blog suggests a strategy to deal with ‘commsplaining’: don’t take it personally. Be kind and take the ’lecturing’ in good spirits.
In my previous role my team hosted a summer intern, the lovely and inquisitive Aagoon, who asked me: “What is the most important skill in comms?” Without a second thought, I replied “patience.”
Much of our work is done in the solitude of one’s office: we do research, ask questions, proofread, refine, re-write, ensure the message is accurate and appropriate. We all know that just because our audience can’t see the effort, it doesn’t mean we didn’t work hard on the output.
It’s like seeing your GP, who takes one look at your results and diagnoses you. Easy! But it took years of study and experience to be able to do that.
Be like Lieutenant Columbo
For a comms professional, patience isn’t just a virtue: it’s a necessity. We need to do what I call ‘being Columbo’: keep asking questions, until we have the knowledge we need to write the piece accurately.
We also need a lot of patience to deal with outside pressures: deadlines, expectations, and yes, you guessed it, ‘commsplainers.’
We all communicate every day, so it’s easy to assume we all have a level of expertise in communications. This may result in colleagues putting us under undue pressure or having unreasonable expectations of us.
When you’re at the receiving end of such pressures, be patient, listen, explain what is and isn’t possible, and what is and isn’t good practice. If someone takes the time to share with you their ideas, even if they sound like lecturing, you should try to appreciate THEIR effort. Consider listening and harnessing their enthusiasm. Use the opportunity to share your knowledge and expertise to manage their expectations and teach them something new.
This post is adapted from the original version, which was published on the School of Informatics People and Culture blog.